My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor.

More on this after the break.

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Let’s talk to our man in the street…


Any time they have sex: “this just in!”


And with that, back to the studio!


There’s a song by *Meatloaf* which has a baseball announcer and I know that part by heart. One day, I started reciting it while doing the bump and grind with a steady girlfriend. She didn’t like it but I just couldn’t stop really. *Batter steps up to the plate, here’s the pitch, he’s going— and what a jump he’s got. He’s trying for third,*


“The human torch is denied a bank loan.”