What is the most stupid way you ever got injured?

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Found a poisonous snake with my brother (I was 14). He ran away and I yelled “you’re a pussy!” as I bent down to pick it up. It bit me and I had to spend 9 days in the hospital.

TotesYouGoats

Twisted my ankle jumping off a trampoline in a gym once as a kid. That wasn’t the stupid injury though. The stupid part was that I jumped again which resulted in two fractures.

Unsound_M

I was sleeping one afternoon, and all my weight had fallen on my arm. As a result, my arm fell asleep too and got dead numb. The phone started ringing and the sound somehow blended in my dream, causing me to dream about a fire alarm going off. I got panicked in my sleep and that panic continued when I realized that the ringing wasn’t just in my dream, it was happening for real. So I popped up, sleepy and confused, and started running towards the source of the noise. Comically enough, my arm was so numb that it was beyond my control and was flailing randomly by my side, crashing onto nearby walls and furniture as I was running towards the sound. It was like running with a jelly-like arm, like the one Harry Potter had in *HP and the Chamber of Secrets* when Lockheart deboned it accidentally. Anyway, I don’t know which of the billion crashes and bumps was the one that did the job, but that’s how I dislocated my pinky. It was a good hit, and my finger stood at a really weird angle afterwards, so I had to go to the doctor to put it back in its place. Hurt like a bitch too.

I_hate_traveling

During the brief period in history when “planking” was a thing, I planked across the bench seats of a 15 passenger van and tore my bottom rib off of the muscle. To this day it’s all floaty and weird and constantly reminds me what an idiot I am. I’m a drummer. I was on the road and a full grown ass man.

greyfell_red

Dislocated all of my fingers, my knee, and my shoulder trying to drain spaghetti noodles. Luckily the finger dislocations meant I held onto the pot so I didn’t also drop it and splash boiling water all over myself.

PostItFrustrations