‌‌A p‌‌irate g‌‌oes t‌‌o t‌‌he d‌‌octor a‌‌nd s‌‌ay, “‌‌I h‌‌ave m‌‌oles o‌‌n m‌‌e b‌‌ack a‌‌aarrrghh”

The d‌‌octor: “It’s o‌‌k, t‌‌hey’re b‌‌enign” Pirate: “‌‌Count a‌‌gain, I‌‌ t‌‌hink t‌‌here b‌‌e t‌‌en!”

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A pirate is talking with a barkeep. Barkeep: “How did you end up with that peg leg?” Pirate: “During a firefight a cannon ball blasted out the deck and took me leg with it.” “Why do you have that hook?” “Arrrgh! We was looting a ship and lost me hand in a sword fight.” “And the eye patch?” “I looked up at a seagull and blimey, the scalliwag crapped right in me eye.” “You lost your eye from bird poop? “T’was me first day with the hook.”


A pirate goes to the doctor with a large steering wheel jutting from his zipper. The doctor asks, “Is that a steering wheel?” – The pirate replies, “Yarr, and it’s driving me nuts.”


A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel roll on his head. Bartender: “What’s with the paper towels?” Pirate: “Arrr, there’s a bounty on me head!”


People think the “R” is the pirates favorite letter but it’s the “C” they really love


Doctor: I think it’s a tumour Pirate: There are 12 now!?