An Englishman, an American and a Scotsman wander in the desert

After a long while they encounter a huge wall. They try to go around it, over it, but the wall is too high and too long. Out of nowhere, a genie appears. The genie sais: “You must all tell a lie in order to break this wall. The greater the lie, the greater the damage. But beware, each one of you only has one try.” The men sink into deep thinking state. After hours of thinking, the Englishman begins: “Us, the english gentlemen, never drink tea with milk.” The wall cracks. The American adds: “Us, the american gentlemen never smoke stogies after a hard day of work.” Again, the wall cracks. Now all left up to the Scotsman, he takes a deep breath and starts: “Us, the scottish gentlemen-” The wall shatters.

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A Scottish man visits Canada for the first time. He goes for a hike and sees a moose. He asks the park ranger, “Oi! What animal is that then?” “That’s a moose,” the ranger replied. “A moose!” exclaimed the Scotsman, – “If that there’s a moose, dear laddie, ye must have rats the size of elephants then!”


.. *never shag sheep.*




I don’t get this one.


A *gentleman* would be educated enough to know that “Us” cannot be the subject of a sentence. Reminds me of something from a Victorian book about chess, in which someone reported the following: “Do you know Scroggins?” “Oh yes. Him and me were at Harrow together” *thinks: “Well, he may have been a Harrow boy, but he talks more like a ploughboy”*