I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees

The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over. “You’ve given me one too many” I said. “That one is a freebie”

Show Top Comments

Oh beehave

killeratt666

Working as a weapons specialist, I combined a bee hive with an Uzi and created a Bee Bee Gun.

Big_Bri_Guzzi

***I went to the pet shop and the owner said he had a talking centipede for sale.*** I said ‘no way, centipedes don’t talk.’ The owner promised me it was a talking centipede so I purchased it and took it home with me. A little later in that evening I went up to its tank and said ‘alright mate, I’m just popping down the pub if you fancy a few pints?’ The centipede said nothing, I scoffed and went to the pub. The next evening I thought I’d give it another try so I went to its tank again and said ‘alright mate, I’m just popping down the pub if you fancy a few pints?’ Still absolutely no response from the centipede, so I went on my way, cursing the pet shop owner. The following evening I thought I would give it one more try, so I went over to its tank and asked ‘alright mate, I’m just popping down the pub if you fancy a few pints?’ The centipede replied ‘I heard you the first time I’m just putting my fucking shoes on’

CommonSchemeForYou

Cant beelieve you reposted this one.

IveGotDMunchies

I read this in a British accent… did you write it in one?

reduxde