I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said, “Nice legs.” The girl giggled and said with a smile, “Do you really think so.” I said “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.”

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I overheard two large women at the club speaking in an unfamiliar accent. So I went over and said, “What a charming accent! Are you two ladies from Ireland?” The women were offended and scoffed, “You idiot, it’s Wales obviously!” – “I’m terribly sorry! So, are you two whales from Ireland?”


Ah yes..fat people…the last group you can openly mock


She never left the house again




Sorry sir, I’m gonna have to call 911 cuz you just murdered someone.