LPT: If your child continues to talk about an incident that upset them, consider having them talk to a therapist.

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The best thing a parent can do is LISTEN to their child. Not just allow them to run on and pay no attention to it, but really LISTEN. If there is a repeated return to an event or constant hashing out of a specific scenario, then it doesn’t matter if your child “should” do something, such as “get over it” or “let it go”. Clearly the child can’t. Everyone is different and manages to process differently. When a child is “stuck” they are unable to process something; they can be trapped in a limiting mindset indefinitely. Even for life. If you, as a parent, find you haven’t been able to guide your child beyond their distress, it is the height of compassion and the true meaning of parenting to find them someone who is able for the task. You only fail as a parent when you leave your child to drown in a sea of something beyond their capacity. You succeed as a parent in recognizing your child may benefit from seeing a qualified professional, then ensuring that this happens. Early intervention often means a short term commitment that brings lifelong benefits. I can attest that ignoring a child’s distress will NEVER have a result other than negative.


I was abused 60 years ago at age 5. We lived in a small town. Abuse was shameful and pushed under the rug back then. Nobody took their kids to therapy. My parents pulled me out of kindergarten and I was forbidden to talk about what happened, including asking questions. I’ve been totally messed up my entire life. I’ve carried the shame and the fear of saying the wrong thing or of asking questions the entire time. In spite of dozens of therapists as an adult, it was in the last year that I finally started to recognize the damage that had been done. I just hope I live long enough to have part of my life be worth living.


On the flip side, don’t force therapy on a child if they repeatedly say they are fine. Or for “having a bad attitude” or for having undersirable traits like being shy.


This. I had ptsd as a child and stopped taking care of my parents and they were sooo many times i never