LPT: Just because other people may be worse off than you, it doesn’t mean that your problems are any less valid.

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keepthetips

A swimming pool isn’t as deep as the ocean, but you can still drown in it

Pepper_in_my_pants

This is a complicated issue and I’m going to say it: not all problems are created equal. If you have someone with a broken finger at the hospital and you have someone who is dying of a gunshot wound, both are equally important, but one requires more serious, immediate attention than the other. I think this mindset can be used to erase the significance of some problems. Like “we’re all the same, why are you giving some people more attention?” It’s because they need it. That being said, I also want to highlight another attitude that is incredibly unhelpful, which is the “oh you don’t get to be sad people in Africa don’t have food”. That’s bullshit. Don’t invalidate other peoples struggles and make them feel guilty for feeling pain, because down the line it might be extremely hard for them to get the help and attention they need because they think their problems don’t matter, that they’re exaggerating, etc. I’ve seen too many people develop addictions or become codependent or whatever because they grew up learning that their pain didn’t matter and that they had to conceal it. Always feeling guilty for calling in sick to work (am I really sick enough ?) or seeking help (do I really deserve this)? Or eventually turning to depression/suicide/etc. It’s bad. Understanding the complexity of the issue is important.

aliengames666

Tel this to my mom. She does it much less now because I have called her out on it. She would share how one of her sisters was having a hard time or venting about something. And my mother would always say something alone the lines of “hmmm…that’s nothing, that’s not suffering, real suffering is when I…”. Not only does she tell that to me but she would say it to them when they would tell her. I told her she needed to stop that. That is one of the reasons people talk to her less and less. Slow changes on her part, it’s just taking forever.

Nomed73

“Just because getting punched twice hurts, doesn’t mean getting punched once doesn’t” – me.

larrysbrain