LPT: When a friend is upset, ask them one simple question before saying anything else: ‘Do you want to talk about it or do you want to be distracted from it?’

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Another thing is knowing what their answer means. Just because they want to talk about it doesn’t mean they want the problem fixed, and sometimes you just need to listen and be a shoulder to cry on or a nice hug. In addition, I’ve noticed that sometimes people unintentionally try to make the person they’re comforting “simmer down”, so to speak. Don’t say that they need to just relax, or that the problem is small, or that it’s nothing to be worried about. Let them blow off the steam and clear their head.


LPT: If you are trying to comfort someone going through a difficult time and can’t think of something meaningful to say, be honest and just say, “I wish I knew what to say to help you through this”. It shows that you care and want to help without needing to say something profound.


Lots of times, people just want to get their trouble off their chests. “Do you want me to help solve the problem? If not, I can totally just listen.”


Thank you for this perspective. Some people like me just need to be taught how to be better communicators and using our words properly and this helped.