LPT: When you come home drunk (or high or whatever) empty all your pockets and put all the stuff in one place

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I tried this and on the positive side all my stuff was together. On the negative side all my stuff ended up in the fish tank and now I need a new phone, wallet and car key fob 😞


Actually, you should do that all the time so it becomes habitual.


Yes. And take a taxi or Uber home, please. Don’t park in a Wendy’s drive-thru lane and then pass out.


Black out me can unlock my door, brush my teeth, take my contacts out, take my pants off, and pass out on my bed. He’s incredibly talented.