People get pets so they can talk to themselves outloud and not appear weird.

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Pretty sure the cats understand me…


And animals get owners so there barks and meows can be heard!


That’s not how pets work.


I never think of it as talking to myself. True story: Me: My dog has a tummy ache. Vet: Vomiting? Me: No. Vet: Bowel problems? Me: No. Vet: How do you know he’s sick? Me: <shrug> He told me. Vet: . . . Dog: <pukes on exam table> Me: Oh! There we go! Vet: You still want me to examine him? Me: Ummm. . . <looks at dog’s face> Nope! All good. It’s more like wanting someone to communicate with and I’m speaking verbal English and he’s using canine body language. I mean, sometimes we argue and I lose.


That’s not true in the slightest, right Fred? Right, Fred? FRED?