A man goes into his doctors after being assaulted by an elephant in the jungle.

As the man explains what happened in the jungle the doctor is confused. “Well, I can’t see any injuries on you, so what happened?” The man responds “Well you see Doc, the elephant knocked me down and…. Had his way with me.. I know it’s bad but can you have a look for me?” The doctor is flabbergasted and says “ok of course, pull your trousers down and I’ll have a look” As soon as the man’s trousers drop the Doctor recoils and exclaims “Oh god! Pull your trousers up! That’s awful!” “You’re right, the elephant has done a number on you, but I do have a question. My brother works in a zoo, and I’ve seen an elephants penis, and its like this” The doctor holds his hands to the width of a side plate “And your arsehole looks like…” He holds his hands to the width of a dinner plate “What happened?!” The man responds, “I know. The bastard fingered me first”

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I used to work in a zoo where my job was to circumcise the elephants. – The pay was terrible but the tips were huge.

TooShiftyForYou

*UUUmmmmm, it’s actually funny. However, just a bit too graphic and cringy for me so I won’t be retelling this one. How about one toned down just a touch:* An elephant is standing on a street corner with an erection. His thing is HUGE, hangs all the way to the ground. At that moment a mother is taking her son to school and the son looks at the elephant and says “Mommy what is that?” Mom: “Oh that’s the trunk, honey” Kid: “No mom, further back between the legs” Mom: “Oh that? That’s nothing….” and awkwardly changes the subject. The next day, same elephant in the same condition is on the corner, only this time the dad is taking the kid to school. Kid: “Hey dad, what is that? It’s not the the trunk and it’s not the legs; it’s in between the legs. Mommy says that’s nothing.” The dad thinks for a second and then laughs, “Yeah well, mommy is spoiled.”

Waitsfornoone

Irrelephant

[deleted]

What’s grey and cums in quarts?

drock_1983

I hope that fucker clipped his nails.

AznKilla