Why will nobody tell me what the lowest rank of the military is?

Everyone keeps telling me that it’s private.

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this is actually a major misconception, generally speaking


**A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” The nun replied, “He went that way.” After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough, sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Syria.” The nun said, “I understand completely.” The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!” The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don’t want to go to Syria either.”**


Back when I was pole-dancing at the ladies club, I wore a uniform and my stage name was Corporal Punishment. Just for some variety, I also used Private Parts, Colonel O’Truth, General Consensus, and Major Wang. I tried dancing at the Ladies club on the Navy base as Seaman Ropes, but the ladies only had eyes for each other…