I just listened to Jole Osteen say this opener to his sermon that my Grandfather had on.

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Fuck Joel Osteen. He’s just a con man trying to fill his coffers.


Inasmuch as I know about Judaic mythos, Eve is not considered the first woman or Adam’s first wife, that would go to Lilith.


JO is a showman. He preaches prosperity Christian dogma. Cherry picking the scriptures to grift his audience so he can pay his electric bill on his ginormous mansion. He is a complete douche. I bet the motherfucker even sweats vinegar.


Even fairy tales created by 3000 year old desert goat herders are filled with bias, hate, stereotypes, misinformation, and lies.


It’s a joke. Not a very good one, but pastors have been using humor like this in sermons for centuries. It’s an easy laugh, and puts his audience in the mood to be more receptive to whatever the main point of his sermon is about. Osteen inherited a large ministry from his dad, but there’s no denying his downhome folksy non-threatening style of pabulum has been a hit with the Houston faithful. People who have the gift of the gab don’t need to make sense, they just have to sound plausible, and that’s what Osteen is to those who are inclined to believe him. If you want an example of a wisecracking preacher look up Jesse Duplantis. I haven’t seen him in years, but I used to watch him occasionally when I first came to the States 25 years ago and discovered the bizarre world of American religious television — TBN, etc. He’s one of those awful Word Faith Movement preachers — pals around with Kenneth Copeland — but boy, can he tell a funny story. I didn’t believe a word he said (good funny stories told by preachers are usually 90% fictional), but he still had me laughing out loud from time to time.