People who were suicidal once but got over it what thing you saw/ experienced afterwards that made you think “Damn I would have missed it if I took my life that time” ? [Serious]

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My friend Hunter drunkingly telling me, “There could never be another you.” along with some other very nice things. I didn’t tell anyone I had been thinking of ending my life the night before, how I drove to an empty parking lot and sat for hours crying and recording “personalized good-bye voice recordings” for each friend because I was crying to hard to type. I went home instead of killing myself. I stayed in bed most all the next morning and got up at night when my roommate brought his friends over to drink. Hunter had no idea what he had done for me until years later when I told him.

ohsoradbaby

I went camping way out in a national park last year. I was standing on the edge of a portage trail, looking down over the cliffside at the rushing rapids and waterfall below. I could smell the dirt and dampness in the air. The water was so loud I could barely hear over it. Behind me there were massive trees growing up the steep hill, their roots all intertwining and exposed. There was this light breeze in the air – just the right kind of chill to complement the humid heat that day. I distinctly remember thinking, “*This.* This makes it all worth it. I’d go through it all again just to get here, to this moment.” I wrote an entire journal entry about it when I came home. It was the first relief in a severe depressive episode I’d been going through for around two years. I’m glad I didn’t miss it. ___ **Edit to add:** February marked 8 years since I attempted suicide. This was just one in a whole collection of moments that have helped me realize life’s worth living. Years ago I adopted the motto, “It doesn’t get better, but it does get more bearable,” and I stand by it. I still struggle with severe depressive episodes. I probably will all my life. But I’ve found I can endure them indefinitely, if just for that one beautiful sight, that one peaceful summer afternoon, that one moment I enjoy someone’s company. If you’re struggling, I hope you can find some solace in knowing I struggle too. Social media often paints a picture of mental illness and hardship that is “overcome.” Sometimes I can feel like a failure by comparison. The reality is that I have not gotten over my depression, it is a deep-seated pain I continue to live through. I know how challenging and intense simply choosing to go on can be. I see your struggle. I’m with you. I believe you can live through it too.

JuPasta

Playing division 1 college baseball after being told my entire life that I wasn’t good enough. Proved ya wrong dad.

phil_the_conquerer

I had kind of the opposite experience.. a dream I had while I was depressed/suicidal that helped me snap out of being suicidal. In my dream it was just an ordinary day. I woke up and rolled over to face my husband and he answered his phone. I could hear someone on the other end saying I was dead. I watched his eyes loose all the happiness and light and he just crumpled. My mom came over and as he told her she fell down on the sidewalk before making it into our apartment. They sat on the ground sobbing and I stood behind them trying to tell them I was there. My dream played out like a full day and I saw my other family members and friends hear I had killed myself. It was one of the most hyper realistic dreams I’ve ever had, almost like I was watching a different timeline in which I had actually killed myself. I woke up crying and knew ultimately I didn’t want to put anyone through that pain and sorrow even though I felt no happiness myself. I’ve gotten out of that hole with years of therapy and finding the right meds, but I’ll never forget that dream!

ihavebird

Nothing so far.

KysimKreb