A man walks into a bar, and sees a huge jar sitting on the counter.

The jar is stuffed with $10 bills. There has to be at least twenty grand in there. Curious, he approaches the bartender. He asks, “What’s the deal with the jar?” The bartender replies, “You put ten bucks in, and if you complete three challenges, you win the entire jar.” “What are the challenges?” “The money first.” The man’s feeling game, so he fishes a ten-dollar bill out of his pocket and stuffs it into the jar. “Tell me,” he says. “Okay,” the bartender says. “First, you gotta drink a whole bottle of tequila in sixty seconds or less, without pulling a face or puking. “Second, there’s a large and angry pit bull chained up out the back. It has a bad tooth. You have to pull that tooth out with your bare hands. “Third, there’s a 90-year-old lady upstairs who’s never had sex in her life. You have to go up there and nail her.” The man is stunned. “You’d have to be crazy to attempt all of that.” “It’s up to you,” the bartender says, “but your money stays in the jar.” Well, the night goes on and the man has a few drinks, and he keeps looking over at the jar, until finally he gets back up says, ” I’ll do it! Hand me that tequila!” The bartender hands the man a bottle of tequila, which he unscrews and chugs down in under a minute without making a face. He throws the empty bottle to the ground and charges drunkenly out the back door, where he sees the chained-up pit bull. From inside the bar, the bartender hears growling and barking and snarling and screaming, and then silence. The man staggers back inside. His clothes are ripped to shreds and covered in blood, and all over him are cuts and scratches and bite-marks. “I did it!” he slurs. “Now, where’s that old lady with the bad tooth!”

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I wonder why the first guy put the $10 in the jar? He would be getting only his $10 back if he passed the tests..

biotypicGlider17

10$ for a quart of tequilla sounds like a god deal

su0930775906

A man walks into a bar, and sees a huge jar sitting on the counter. The jar is stuffed with $10 bills. There has to be at least twenty grand in there. Curious, he approaches the bartender. He asks, “What’s the deal with the jar?” The bartender replies, “You put ten bucks in, and if you make the horse out back laugh, you get the cash.” The man fishes a ten-dollar bill out of his pocket and stuffs it into the jar. The man then walks out the back door, and the bartender watches the man lean in close to the horse. The horse starts to chuckle, then full on laughs, escalating into rolling around on the ground of the paddock, laughing hysterically. The man comes back in, finishes his drink, collects his winnings and leaves without another word. Years later, the man returns, and again sees the jar stuffed to the brim with cash. He asks the bartender if the bet still stands. The Bartender says “Bet is still $10, but now you have to make the horse cry.” The man again pulls a $10 bill out of his pocket, and walks out to the horse, and sure enough within moments, the horse is sobbing uncontrollably. As the man returns to finish his drink, the Bartender says “Hey fella, the money is yours, but I have to know, how did you do it?” The man responds “Well, the first time I walked out and told the horse that my dick was bigger than his. The second time, I proved it.”

MikeGolfsPoorly

And then he unhitched the steering wheel from his crotch, pissed all over the bar, and declared loudly that he’d lost an electron.

axnu

The poor dog was crucified

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