People who work at 5 Star Hotels: what type of shit goes on that management doesn’t want people to know?

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we don’t want you to know that the people who stayed in the room before you were fucking nasty. housekeeping gets the brunt of it. i’ve seen them carry out bags of used sex toys, peel used condoms off of every surface, and scrub shit – actual human (presumably) shit – off places there’s no reason for human shit to be. the worst, though, was the couple that wanted a home birth but not, you know, at home (because gross). we had to deal with that hazmat situation. fucked them as hard as we could with penalties and fees, though.


A lot of lonely people going on vacation to end their life. Happens a lot but is never mentioned on the news.


LOTS of prostitution and all the drama/legal trouble that goes along with it. Corporate functions like conventions, parties, etc where there’s an open bar almost always leads to something fucked up happening. One hotel I worked at hosted a Christmas party for an investment firm and two guys started jockeying for the affections of a female coworker. They all wound up on an elevator together and the guys started fighting, the elevator went in to safety lock down, we had to call the PD and the FD. One guy went in a squad car, one guy went in an ambulance, we had to give the woman some clothes from lost & found because he dress was covered in blood and the elevator was out of service for six hours to clean it up. There’s always a ton of back of house drama, too. Especially among the execs and the junior managers. Affairs, backstabbing, a little light fraud. You know, the usual.


I don’t work in one anymore, but used to. This isn’t really shenanigans, but: the staff is not nearly so impressed by famous or rich people as some of them seemed to think we should be. It was a fancy hotel. We had rich and famous guests all the time. And it was usually the ones nowhere near the top of the ladder who tried to be the most imperious and expected the most deference. If you have to try to convince us you’re high status, you aren’t. We’d provide polite, professional service for all our guests and try to be helpful and accommodating, but being a C-list actor or whatever isn’t going to get you a table in a full restaurant or an upgrade to the already-occupied fancier suites. And if there’s a severe blizzard and the airport is closed, we can’t open it for you because you’re too special to have to wait to fly out. Even if you’re a Very Important Businessman.


As part of our training as bellman we are to ask open ended questions to the children to make sure they aren’t being used for sex trafficking when bringing in luggage to “Dad and daughter” types. My dad works in security in the same hotel so he often gives me a heads up if the guest with the child is already under suspicion regarding their behavior at the front desk for check in. It rarely happens but hotels are the breeding grounds for sex traffickers.