An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.”

The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?” The man replies, “That would be my wife.”

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I’m still having sex at 71, which is really handy for me, because I live at number 63.


For some reason, the elderly man does not seem to be accepting of the lecturer’s message.


If you think the alcohol is bad, you should see the effects tea has when you stay up all night drinking it.


The same man, stopped by the police, takes out a candle and light it. “Why the candle?” aakes the policeman and the driver replies “You’re going to fuck me anyway, so at least let it be romantic!”


Oi oi mate ! What’s this then ? Do you have a loicense to roam the streets at 2 am ?!