A Swede, an Irishman, a Scotsman, and their wives went to play golf one day. They were about to tee off on the first hole.

The Swede’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. “Good Grief, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any skivvies?”, Ole demanded. “Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.” The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.” Next, the Irishman’s wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she too, is wearing no undies. “You woman of mine! You’ve no knickers on. Why not?”, asked Patrick. She replies, “I can’t afford any on the money you give me.” Patrick reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!” Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she too, is naked under it. “Fur Jake’s sake, Aggie! Where the friggin hell are yer drawers?”, Duncan inquired. She too explains, “You dinnae give me enough money tae be able tae afford any.” The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, “Well, fur the love ‘o decency, here’s a comb… Tidy yerself up a bit.”

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Was expecting the Scotsman’s kilt to fly up to reveal he wasn’t wearing any either.


“As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he’ll buy the fifth drink.” “Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.” “Ahhh, dat’s nothin’,” said the Irishman, “back home in my favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you’ve had enough drinks, they’ll take you upstairs and see dat you get laid, all on the house!” The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims. The Irishman swore every word was true. “Did this actually happen to you?” “Not myself, personally, no,” admitted the Irishman, “but it did happen to me sister quite a few times … ”


Ole is more of a Norwegian name than a Swedish.


The scotsman gives his wife $10 for undies. Then when he bends over to place his ball, the kilt blows over his head and they all discover he has no underwear. The Swedish woman steps up and offers him ______________. The Irish woman steps up and offers him ___________. And his Scottish wife steps up and ____________. Let’s build this joke.


Sounds like a great time on the green.