[Serious] Asexuals of Reddit, how did you find out that you are one?

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Tried having sex with women. Wasn’t really that into it. Figured I must be gay. Tried with guys and that still wasn’t doing it for me…


I was 28, watching Bojack Horseman with my fiance, the character Todd went “i don’t think I’m anything” and i really related to that, but then he went on to discover he was asexual and it all clicked for me I had no idea asexuality was an option!


I literally thought everyone else was just being really over dramatic. Turns out the descriptions of people wanting to have sex with hot people wasn’t just fake. Y’know, like fairy tales and dragons and stuff. People actually DO look at other people and want to kiss them, and even have sex with them, just because they’re hot. I’ve dated MULTIPLE people and couldn’t figure out why they got all hot and bothered so easily. It still sounds fake as I type this.


One day I came across an asexuality web page and started reading and researching into it. It just clicked, and felt like a relief that there were other people like me out there.


Since middle school, girls would talk about who they found sexually attractive and what they would do with their crushes behind closed doors. I never got what they meant nor what was amazing about looking at penises. Fast forward to my senior year of high school, I started to really question myself because never once have I ever looked or seen my crush in a sexual way. All I wanted to do was to spend time with them or hang out with them. Nothing really NSFW, I always saw sex as kinda gross. It was then that I knew that I do not experience sexual attraction, but only romantic attraction. Thank you OP for asking this question since not a whole lot of people ask asexual stories.