Within hours of coming out as an atheist to my wife, she outed me to our entire friend group

Read the Story

Show Top Comments

> I don’t think that is having different beliefs should be a deal breaker. As a married guy in an opposing-religious-beliefs relationship for ~12 years, this is my life. But I’ve known of my lack of religion since I was about 11 or 12, so she knew about it before we got married. She doesn’t have a problem with it. I don’t know your marriage dynamic, but if she’s allowing other guys over to your house to “console” her when you’re not home (and not seeing how wrong that is), then /u/Riot419 is right… buckle up, because those guys are going to try and slide right in, literally and figuratively. You need to sit down and discuss your feelings with her ASAP. Riot419 also said this: >Or you could just bite the bullet and repent. That could get you more “respect” from them if you lay on the Jesus shit real thick. Do NOT do this. Do not live a lie and perpetuate a lie to stay with someone who does not want to stay with you. You will hate yourself for it, and the truth will almost certainly come out eventually, and she’ll be even more pissed. You’d be better off just biting the other bullet, and leaving the relationship as smoothly and drama-free as possible. It’ll hurt, A LOT;…but it’s better than a huge lie like that. Good luck OP. *Edit: just wanted to add; obviously (if you love her) don’t just jump straight to divorce. That should become the option after you exhaust all other reasonable steps to stay together.*


If you’re feeling alone, it’s healthy to want to rant to someone. This seems like a safe place to do so. Do you have anyone in your broader friends/family group who is outside the evangelical community who might be more supportive of you? It could even be someone who maybe cares but kept some distance due to worries about differences in belief? Especially if you were part of evangelical Christianity which can be a bit intimidating when thinking about how to interact with that by people who may be a little less intense about religion? You may find some other opportunities for rebuilding older connections or making new ones to help you feel less isolated.


Yikes OP, you should probably talk to her about religious boundaries a bit more thoroughly then.


Hire a lawyer now and buckle up. Every evangelical single guy you know is gonna try and bang your wife. They aren’t Christians. They are a fucking cult. Figure out how to position yourself so she has to pay alimony and you keep the house. I hope you don’t have kids. Maybe I’m wrong but if I’m not be damned sure there will be nothing “Christian” about a divorce. If she’s as culty as the others then tread lightly because she’s gonna look at you like a lesser being. Or you could just bite the bullet and repent. That could get you more “respect” from them if you lay on the Jesus shit real thick. You probably already know that you are about to lose all privileges in your “Christian” family. Everything you do will be looked down.


So sorry to hear that. Do not doubt yourself. Millions of people came to the same conclusion as you and nearly all of them never went back to religion. I live in an environment where nearly no one is religious anymore so I can’t give You further advice. However, I know a lot about divorces. If You think a divorce might maybe follow, it probably will – unfortunately. So be prepared! Take professional advice of an attorney! Do not lose time. Know that love might interfere with your ability to assess the situation. Put important documents aside and hide them. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.