A guy walks into a bar, slumps into a chair, and orders a beer. The bartender says, “What’s wrong, pal? You look down.”

The guy sighs and says, “I am down. My wife is mad at me, and said she wouldn’t talk to me for a whole month.” The bartender says, “Gee, that’s too bad. When does that start?” “Start? Today’s the last day.”

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My grampa used to tell jokes like this…you just made me miss him.

aledeschia

Women, am I right?

BIGBUMPINFTW

“wife bad” /r/boomerhumour

widowhanzo

My Mom used to pull that shit on us. I had 3 other siblings and if one of them pissed her off, she wouldn’t speak to any of us kids. We were small kids back then. It wasn’t right, I really feel that Mom had mental issues. I don’t hate my Mother, but I pity her the most. Mom has been gone more than 20 years now. Do I miss her? NO!!! She played her children and was very manipulative. She caused more heartache than love. However, I am grateful she never hurt my children. She loved my 2 kiddos! She just hated me. I caused a lot of trouble for her. She wanted me to be dependence on her. I was born with deformities, I didn’t care. Yes, I was bullied in school. However, I wanted to make my own life and whatever I did, she didn’t approve. When she was in the hospital dying from Diabetes, I cared for her and I helped my Dad when she passed away. Her last moments with me was she wouldn’t speak to me, but my other siblings” yes, she acknowledged them”. While this was a very painful event in my life, I didn’t let her ruin me. Mom did teach me many things in life and I am forever grateful to her. I do love my Mom, but apparently she didn’t feel the same about me. I hope she knows I took care of Dad. I was his caretaker for a year. We went on vacation together, even when he was on Oxygen. I just wanted to add that I love both of my parents, I feel that my Mom had issues and I am okay with that.

Eott59

Rodney Dangerfield told this one…when he was in highschool.

Quivver1