A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey “Hey! what are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.” So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the river. At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side. He then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?!” The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in! The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says “Hey, MONKEY!” The Monkey looks down and says “FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?”

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Too much Gatr-ade.


My friend told us this joke on a road trip years ago and it was the funniest thing, we all laughed so hard! He thought he was the funniest man on the planet since then he has on several occasions tried to tell it and never gets it right. He has completely butchered it so many times over the years that, that has become the a long running joke evrytime some one messes up a joke or tells one that’s not funny we all reference the punchline of this joke in sarcasm for completely ruining a very funny moment. Thanks OP for reminding me of the proper way to tell this joke, I almost completely forgot it’s original hilarity!


Ah #4557,still a clssci.


This is the dumbest joke I’ve ever laughed at, besides my own failure at life.


So innocent and funny