LPT: If you’re on a first date and aren’t connecting with the other person or feel they’re dull, ask them what job they’d choose if money wasn’t an issue. It initiates a talk about one’s passions, which are rarely dull and are simple to connect.

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keepthetips

I need a whole list of such questions… I’m very bad at initiating conversations with people who aren’t close to me.

vbs02

I’ve tried this, along with a couple other “ice breaker” questions, and it depends on a lot more than asking the right question. Sometimes you both find each other physically attractive, but that’s it: there’s no chemistry, no spark, no interest, no whatever you want to call it. Also, certain people are plain dull, and there’s nothing you can do about it. There’s always a possibility that the only answers you’ll get are “uhm, I don’t know.” or “why do you care?” “I don’t really have many interests”. Others have horrible social skills and just can’t talk passionately about their passions: “If money wasn’t an issue […] ?” “I could be a diver, I guess.” “Oh, yeah? That’s cool! How come?” “I dunno… I like water.” “You ever thought about trying out recreational diving?” “Yeah.” “That must be so exciting! Where would you like to dive, if you could go anywhere?” “I don’t know.” “Come on, you must have thought about it, you came up with diving in like one second. [Playful laugh, smile]” “I haven’t.”

Corvus_Manufaktura

Honestly that would prompt me to lie. If money wasn’t an issue I wouldn’t have a job.

CoolStoryBro_Fairy

Kind of related to this. I remember as a kid, I had a serious rivalry with my neighbor. It was a Dennis the menace relationship. I was Dennis, he was Mr. Wilson. My mother thought he was simple in the mind, the neighbors agreed, he was the typical image of a mouth breather, and i was VERY hard on him, extremely antagonistic. I remember one day being invited into his house, I guess during a moment of truce or something, and he showed me a room he had in his basement which had this MASSIVE intricately derailed train set in it. He built this beautiful landscape full of the most minutely detailed features, something that must’ve taken him thousands of hours of his life. It really made me think of how multidimensional people really are, even if they do seem two dimensional through our regular interactions. I stopped pestering him after that, started treating him more like a person.

caidicus