The Italian Mother

Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Mama, I’m going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.” The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house, sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, “Okay, Mama, guess which one am I going to marry?” Mama says immediately, “The one on the right.” “That’s amazing, Mama. You’re right. How did you know?” Mama replies: “I don’t like her.”

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**This older Jewish man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. ‟Yes Dad, what is it?” ‟Do not be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it does not go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife…”**


I told this to my Italian mother. She loved it


i thought it would be the one with the biggest breasts


It’s a great joke!


A young Italian couple get married at the brides parents home. That night they go upstairs to consummate the marriage. The bride, Gina, sits on the bed and her new husband Fabio begins to unbutton his shirt. Gina freaks out and runs down stairs to her mother. “Mama mama! He’s a-taken offa his shirt!” Her mother looks at her “Gina, go upstairs and please your husband!” She goes back upstairs and sees he has removed his shoes and starts to take his pants off. she runs down stairs again, “mama mama! He’s a-taken offa his pants!” her mother once again says “Gina, go upstairs and please your husband!” she goes back up and sees he is down to his underwear and socks. As he removes his second sock, she sees one of his feet is half missing. she runs downstairs a third time “mama mama! He’s got a foot and a half!” Her mother, passing her “step aside Gina, this is a job for your mother!”.