Manchester United’s whole team is now scared to eat dessert in case ultra-healthy Cristiano Ronaldo judges them

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That’s gonna show up on a future episode of Ted Lasso

hairbo

*cuts to Ronaldo glaring at his team as they awkwardly eat their desserts*

LilG1984

“Well at least I didn’t rape anyone.” (takes bite of Cheesecake)

brewshakes

Didnt Lukaku lose 10kg after leaving? Maybe united’s chef should take dessert off the menu!

aredddit

“Men are afraid that Cristiano Ronaldo will laugh at them. Women are afraid that Cristiano Ronaldo will sexually assault them.”

rntaboy