Hi, my name is Bob, and I’m an alcoholic

“Sir, this is Triple A, not Alcoholics Anonymous” “I know, I’m just trying to explain why my car is in a lake.”

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I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink on two occasions out of the year: My birthday and not my birthday.


Better than many of the jokes here lately


I called AAA cuz I hit an animal… a fish…


I’m on Lake Floor Drive and would like to report a bassident.


Someone who likes to drink knows when the liquor store closes. An alcoholic knows when it opens.