A man scores a hot date Not wanting to disappoint his date in the bedroom, he goes to the doctor to get his penis enlarged.

The doctor says, “we happen to have a new experimental procedure that uses muscle cells from an elephant trunk that should do the trick.” To which the man accepts. Later on, the man and his date are having dinner. The man is in love with her, but is experiencing an increasingly uncomfortable pressure in his trousers. In an attempt to relieve the pain, he slowly undoes his fly. Immediately, his penis lunges out onto the table, grabs a bread roll and vanishes back under the table. His date, unsurprisingly shocked, slowly smiles and says, “could you do that again?” The man, his eyes watering slightly, replies “probably, but I don’t think I can fit another roll in my ass.”

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Sounds like his date was really impressed with the junk in his trunk…

i_fuckin_luv_it_mate

Finally a joke that made me laugh

CaptainObvious_-

Peter goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist “Hello, could you give me condom? I’m going to my girlfriend’s place for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!” The pharmacist gives him the condom and as Peter was going out he returns and says,”Give me another condom because my girlfriend’s sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike a luck there too.” The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as Peter was leaving again he turns back and says “Give me one more condom because my girlfriend’s mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eye contact and since she invited me for dinner I think she is expecting me to make a move. During dinner, Peter sat with his girlfriend on the left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. When the Dad walks in, Peter lowers his head and starts the dinner prayer.” Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you’ve given us”. 10 minutes after, Peter was still praying “Thank you Lord for your kindness. ….” Ten minutes go by, and Peter is still praying, keeping his head down, very close to the table. They all looked at each other surprised, and his girlfriend was even more surprised than others. She gets close to him and whispered, “I didn’t know you are so religious. Peter with his head still on the table replies, “I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!”

nnn_rrr

I’ve never seen an original joke on here before. I’m skeptical, but willing to give you the benefit of the doubt because I LOL’d.

FappyDilmore

I snort laughed and woke my gf up. 10/10

crysadaboutit