LPT: Instead of saying “stop saying sorry” to the person that is constantly apologetic, say “there’s nothing to be sorry for.” It is much more comforting. Not demanding.

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keepthetips

My ex was the most apologetic person I’ve ever met. For the first 3 months we was together I went the comforting route. It seemed to be a result of her previous relationship that she learned it was just easier to apologize for EVERYTHING instead of risking an argument. Even if I made the mistake she’d apologize before I could. Eventually I was able to get through to her that she can’t keep it up, that couples argue and she can’t just assume responsibility and apologize for every little thing. It took a long time, we’d eventually turn it into a game, if she apologized for anything I’d get X and if I did various bad habits she didn’t like she’d get X. Therapy may have been a healthier option but I did always have her best interest in mind. We was together about 2 years before she went back to her ex and I haven’t heard anything since. Anyway, point being the reason someone is constantly apologetic can vary and a random co-worker, or friend of a friend this is probably good advice, but a close friend or partner apologizing dozens of times a day may need a different tact.

SnooGoats8949

Doesn’t work well on those that have made it a habit or coping tool, in my experience. It actually has the reverse effect of emboldening the repeat offender.

starkyzbored

Something I try to do is say ‘thank you’ instead of ‘sorry’ as often as I can. There is significant overlap where they can both be used and saying thanks feels better for both parties than saying sorry. Example – ‘thanks for waiting for me’ instead of ‘sorry I’m late’.

Illicit-Tangent

Sorry, this doesn’t work with Canadians. It’s just how we talk

count_frightenstein