A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was.

When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. “Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. “Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!” Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”

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The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy could not believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the donkey’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, ‟It is a miracle!” ‟Not really,” said the donkey. ‟Your name is written inside the cover.”

betterLoosen30

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, ‟You see that Indian?” ‟Yeah,” says the other cowboy. ‟Look,” says the first one, ‟he is listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction.” Just then the Indian looks up. ‟Covered wagon,” he says, ‟about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon.” ‟Incredible!” says the cowboy to his friend. ‟This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!” The Indian looks up and says, ‟Ran over me about a half hour ago.”

Madlab7

An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, “Are you a real cowboy?” To which he replied, “Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences, I guess I am.” After a short while he asked her what she was. She replied, “I’ve never been on a ranch so I’m not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women.” A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?” To which he replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out that I’m a lesbian.”

lachjeff

A cowboy walks in a saloon and sees a woman talking to 4 guys. He pulls out his gun, shoots the men then walks up to her “What’s a pretty lady like your doing in a place like this all by herself?”

NoWingedHussarsToday

Two ranchers are talking. The first says, “I can get in my truck and drive for a whole day and still not reach the end of my driveway”! The other rancher says, “Yup, I used to have a truck just like that”.

JohnBPrettyGood