Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older.

One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I was taking it out or putting it away.” The second lady said, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs, and I can’t remember whether I was on my up, or on my way down.” The third lady chimed in, “Well, I’m glad I don’t have those problems. Knock on wood.” With that, she rapped her knuckles on the table, then said, “That must be the door. I’ll get it.”

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And the fourth lady says: “Sometimes I find myself holding my husband’s penis, but I can’t remember if it’s on the way in or out.”

Waitsfornoone

The sixth said sometimes I find myself standing with a bloody knife over a dead body and I can’t remember how many times I stabbed them

Direct_Tea_7950

That’s friggin adorable

Brydon28

The seventh says “who are you and what were we talking about?”

mordecai98

The fifth said “i sometimes wake up holding some strange man’s penis. But i don’t know whose penis… or blood…”

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