Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older.

One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I was taking it out or putting it away.” The second lady said, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs, and I can’t remember whether I was on my up, or on my way down.” The third lady chimed in, “Well, I’m glad I don’t have those problems. Knock on wood.” With that, she rapped her knuckles on the table, then said, “That must be the door. I’ll get it.”

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And the fourth lady says: “Sometimes I find myself holding my husband’s penis, but I can’t remember if it’s on the way in or out.”


The sixth said sometimes I find myself standing with a bloody knife over a dead body and I can’t remember how many times I stabbed them


That’s friggin adorable


The seventh says “who are you and what were we talking about?”


The fifth said “i sometimes wake up holding some strange man’s penis. But i don’t know whose penis… or blood…”