A lawyer boards a plane and takes his seat in business class.

A few moments later, two more men wander in and sit next to him. They get to chatting and he discovers they are doctors. After a few moments, one of the doctors comments that he needs a drink. “It’s ok, I’ll get it for you,” says the lawyer, and gets up. The doctors notice he has taken his shoes off. One of them gives the other a sneaky look, reaches into his briefcase, and pulls out a thumbtack that he quickly sticks in the lawyer’s shoe. The lawyer returns with a highball and gives it to the doctor. The two doctors wait to see if he’ll put his shoes back on. After a few more minutes the second doctor starts to get up and says he too wants a drink. “No problem, allow me,” says the lawyer, and again walks to the back of the plane. The second doctor pulls out a thumbtack and sticks it into the other shoe. Again, the lawyer returns, hands over the drink, then sits down. Eventually the pilot comes over the PA saying they are preparing to land. The doctors, giddy with anticipation, watch as the lawyer closes his laptop, pushes up his tray, and starts to pack up his stuff. Finally, he slips his feet into his shoes and immediately feels the sharp pain from the thumbtacks. He looks at the doctors disappointedly. “How long must this go on, this pettiness between our professions? How long must we fight and try to humiliate one another? Why can’t we just get along instead of putting thumbtacks in each other’s shoes, or pissing in each other’s drinks?”

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Is “lawyer vs doctor” a popular rivalry? More common feuds: Cop vs. Firefighter Different branches of the armed services playing pranks. Fans of rivalry sports teams.


If they’re on a plane, why is he getting up to get drinks?


The last time I saw this joke, the punchline was with Indians and pakistani’s, expect instead of thumbtacks it was spit.


What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law.


Billy Connolly’s version of this is very good.