Bored Superman

One day Superman is flying around looking for crime. Lex Luther is locked up along with all the other villains so not much is going on. Superman sees Batman crouched next to a gargoyle on a building so stops by to see what’s up. “Hey Batman what’s good wanna do something?” Batman answers gruffly, “I am doing something, I’m brooding and prefer to do so by myself.” Superman flies off thinking to himself that Batman is a huge douche but eventually comes across Spider-Man hanging upside down on a bridge. “Hey Spidey what’s up wanna hang out?” Spider-Man is cool with that but all he’s doing is literally hanging out upside down on that bridge and that gets old fast so Superman continues on. Superman eventually comes across Aquaman and has an idea. “Hey Aquaman want to race? I can fly over the river so you can swim since you’re pretty fast swimming, hey you might actually win and I’ll even give you a head start.” “Screw you Superman, I don’t need a head start” says Aquaman. “Okay have it your way dude” and they start the race. Turns out Aquaman definitely needed that head start and Superman was easily kicking his ass. Superman spots Wonder Woman nude sunbathing on the beach and it looks like she’s touching herself so he has an idea. He figures he can super-bang Wonder Woman and still win the race. So he swoops down and, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! Wonder Woman is shocked and confused and asks why Superman is withering on the ground holding his dick. The Invisible Man laughing hysterically says “after the thousandth time getting fucked in the ass in this joke I started putting kryptonite in my oatmeal every morning”.

Show Top Comments

Did aquaman win the race?


I clicked it already knowing the joke but wanted to read it again. Was pleasantly surprised.


why is spiderman with superman and batman


Din get it


… that took a very unexpected turn. I appreciate that.