Adult shop novelty workers, what are your crazy stories? (NSFW)

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I used to work at a place in Dallas… after the 2 week training period all the other employees quit. I ended up running the store by myself for about a year. Split shifts, every day, no days off. One time this lady came in, was super drunk, said she wanted to make her X jealous by getting something sexy to wear… I told her that all we had was lingerie. She didn’t care. She insisted that I bring her things to try on, and she insisted on stepping out to get my opinion on how things looked on her. BTW, she was fucking hot. I kept turning to the cameras and giving a big thumbs up to the owner who I knew would be watching the footage later. Eventually she settled on an outfit that was probably wayyyy to risque for dinner… but whatever. She wanted to wear it OUT. So I rang her up, but the items she was buying had those magnetic tags on them. she was all like “oh i know how they work” and came around behind the counter and started taking the tags off. she lifted up her ass onto the counter to get the one off of the panties, but couldn’t quite get it. SHE ASKED ME FOR HELP. So there I am pulling her panties to the side to try and get this tag off, and I coudln’t help but keep giving the camera the thumbs up. haha… I ended up getting her number. She told me to call her after my shift… unfortunately when I called her she was really upset (and plastered) because her plan to make her X jealous didn’t work. *shrug… oh well. Another time these two big black ladies came in and argued about who was going to buy the last giant black dildo we had in stock. They were both funny as shit and kept trying to rope me into the debate. It was fucking hilarious. Next door was a bar that a bunch of bikers would go to regularly. When it was a slow night I would sit outside by the front door and watch the show. Drunken idiots on motorcycles trying to show off can be very entertaining. One time a whole bunch of bikers came in, one of the guys bought like 20 of those novelty penises on a spring, kinda like a bobble head. He put them all over his motorcycles gas tank, it was hilarious when he fired it up and they bounced all over the place. But eventually the job went to shit. The owner one day brought a lady in for me to train… so I trained her. Then the owner informed me that she would be my manager because she had previous management experience… so I quit.

TheDirtSyndicate

I never got to use this but after an incident in the shop a workmate told me when you kick someone out of the shop, stand in the doorway, point at them and scream “you sicko, if i ever seen you ever do that again I’m calling the cops!!” If anyone is nearby they’re going to look at them and wonder what the fuck they did.

reverendgrebo

Ooh I hope I’m not too late. I once had a guy come in, super embarrassed (not uncommon), and explain that his girlfriend had a specific scene she wanted to do with him where he would pee on her while another guy watched from behind a mirror. The only problem— he was pee shy, and knew he wouldn’t be able to go if someone was watching. I sold him a flaccid dildo, a cheap douche bag with a plastic hose, and a box of self-warming fake pee. We threaded the hose of the douche through a hole in the dildo, and he could make the liquid come out by squeezing the bag in his pocket.

chicksonfox

Worked night shift (5pm to midnight) at a video/adult toy/stripper attire store after high school. Nothing too wild happened, got the occasional “show” from some nice ladies trying on outfits including a group of girls I went to high school with, which is one of my life’s high points. Got invited to see a lot of them perform as we offered a discount to industry workers. never really took them up on that. My favorite part of the job was, when we sold a battery operated “toy” we would have to open it and put batteries in to show the customer it works as returns on such things were not allowed for obvious reasons, Also to sell overpriced batteries. I would often turn the device on and place it on the glass countertop as it wiggled, vibrated, or crawled around super loud. The reaction from the clients was the best. From super embarrassed to eyes bulging out. I did my whole return policy spiel and asked if they wanted to purchase the batteries to usually a silent smiling nod. I did get a $20 tip to try on the size 13 7″ heeled laytex thigh high stripper boots and strut around the store.

ApulMadeekAut

My store used to sell anal numbing cream so that you won’t feel the pain of anal… And I actually had to explain to people why that was a really bad idea. For those out there. Get an anal relaxant instead.

EraVulgaris98