Mt favorite naval joke!

**Americans**: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. **Canadians**: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. **Americans**: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. **Canadians**: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course. **Americans**: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States’ Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that’s one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship. **Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.**

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My favorite naval joke: “Nice to meet you, I’m a naval surgeon.” “Oh, I hadn’t realized medicine is so specialized today.”


QM-mayday mayday this is the queen mary GCG-hello Queen Mary this is the German Coast Guard what’s your problem QM- thank god, we are sinking GCG-what are you sinking about


Reminds me of an old one too, far from naval but with a captain. An airplane is descending for landing. **Captain:** Tower, what’s the local time? **Tower:** What’s your airline? **Captain:** What’s the difference, Tower? **Tower:** Well, if you are Lufthansa the answer is 14:24:36. For Swiss, it’s 14:25. For AirFrance, it’s a beautiful afternoon, just about time to have some wine. And if you are Aeroflot, today is Tuesday.


Sailboat rental manager over megaphone – “Sailboat 81 your rental time is over, return to the dock immediately.” Manager’s assistant – “Sir, we only have 20 boats.” Manager – “Sailboat 18, do you require assistance?”


So no more lighthouse