You are more likely to get assaulted by Ezra Miller in Hawaii than eaten by a shark.

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3 people in 30 days, so, probably 36 people a year. Eaten by a shark is probably a really high bar, so, let’s even the playing field and limit it to shark attacks. Well, worldwide the average from 2016 to 2020 was 72, so Ezra is only half as aggressive as … the entire shark population on Earth. Yay? If we’re talking about just Hawaii, then, it’s 2~3 attacks a year for the sharks. So if you’re in Hawaii, then Ezra is 10~15 times more likely to attack you than any shark.


I can vouche for this. I live on Hawaii Island and I’ve neither gotten assaulted by Ezra Miller nor gotten eaten by a shark. 🤙🏼


I seriously rather take my chances with a great white shark in a pool. Ever since I saw “We Need to Talk About Kevin” Ezra’s face scares me and just gives me legit sociopathic vibes. Crazy he’s still one of the faces of Harry Potter and DC/Superheroes after 3 assaults, yet Johnny Depp is blackballed from the industry because he married a psycho. Holly~~wood~~weird.


In Maui right now, wouldn’t mind a nice paycheck, which island is he on? Gonna go piss him off


Gonna be honest i had to Google who Ezra Miller was. Then I had to Google what the rest of the joke was about.