You’ve been recruited for a heist – what special skill do you bring to the team?

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I’ll be the guy the leader shoots first to show he’s not messing around

greywolf248

I can knit everybody some nice gloves, that way we will leave no fingerprints

NGprince

Im a trumpet player, I could play the Mission Impossible theme while the heist montage is taking place.

dormtennischamp

I’m a recreational pilot, so I guess I could fly away…?

officer_panda159

Meet The Distraction

rapscallionofreddit

If flying economy is one of the most expensive ways to feel poor, what’s one of the cheapest ways to feel wealthy?

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Ordering avocado without asking if it’s extra, and when they say “that’s an extra .50” say “i don’t care”.

thwinks

Getting tickets to anything last minute during a snowstorm. I live in Boston, and you wouldn’t believe where you can sit at a Bruins game or an opera for next to nothing when all the folks from the burbs realize they can’t make it at like 3pm for a 7pm thing.

Edit because of all the attention and questions, a clarification, this is secondary market (people selling their tickets because they can’t make it) on websites like SeatGeek, Stubhub, Ticketmaster, and Craigslist not primary market (venues generally doesn’t drop prices because it pisses folks who paid full freight and season ticket-holders off). Also this isn’t just a dusting, or even a normal snowfall that gets plowed quickly, it’s when local news starts talking about BLIZZARD, it’s when schools get closed, and more importantly it’s enough snow to make getting back to the suburbs a potential nightmare so people decide to stay home and get whatever they can for their tickets so they don’t sit on the highway for two hours. Also once you get in keep an eye out for empty seats and you can probably move to even better ones.

XVOS

Tailored clothing. Taking in the sides of a shirt or pants is pretty easy with a sewing machine, some tutorials, and practice. I learned all the basic stuff from a YouTube channel called Stylish Dad.

fuckondeeeeeeeeznuts

Well trained wait staff can make you feel like a millionnaire.

Paid a minimal amount recently to hear a talk and have lunch at a historical house hotel that is posh enough to host heads of state.

For what we paid I expected lunch to be a buffet served in the cafe at the spa. Nope, two courses with silver service, served in a wonderful Georgian room looking out over the 15th century parkland.

Treated as though we were the most important people in the world. The talk was interesting, but the hospitality was priceless.

fifiblanc

Book a hotel in Las Vegas during the week. Pick like a Tuesday night. There is a big supply-demand problem in Vegas- they need enough rooms to host a ton of folks on the weekends, but weekdays are usually way less busy- so rooms can be had for pennies on the dollar. You can snag a five star hotel for 30-40 bucks, if you time it right, per night.

Then, learn the $20 trick.

For $58, I stayed in a penthouse suite in a 5-star hotel on the Las Vegas strip, and have had 100% success rate with the trick over multiple stays.

Unable_Request

[serious] They say everyone we meet is fighting a battle we know nothing about… so we should always be kind. What battle are you fighting?

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I don’t know but I feel like I’m losing.

Indarezzfosho

Diagnosed with 2 different types of cancer this year. And surgery, radiation. Starting to recover and figuring out what life will be like from here on out as I turn 40 in 3 months.

Edit: woke up to so many encouraging words! Thank you so much. I’ve been extremely lucky with everything so far. I still have a lot to learn about my diagnosis of Mesothelioma and what it will exactly mean for me, but I’ve had a very encouraging result on my recent scan. Meeting with my oncologist this week and hopefully I will learn more.

blahblah8003

My kid is dying. Incurable, fatal disease. My wife and I decided to tell no one, not even family, because at that point our little boy will find out, and why does he need to know? He just needs to be a little boy and enjoy the life he has.

EDIT: Wow. I’m not a big poster and have never had a response like this. You all are awesome. Your kind words and thoughts mean more than you can imagine.

He’s 9 years old and has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. It means his muscles are slowly dying. He’s weak and continuing to get weaker. Typical progression is that he will be unable to walk and be confined to a wheelchair sometime around age 12-13, and then his lungs and heart will stop working sometime around 20-25.

Right now he’s a happy little guy who just seems like he’s un athletic. We tell him he has sick muscles (we see a lot of doctors, he’s been in clinical trials, etc). Sometime in the next few years it will become obvious and we will tell him what’s really going on. Doesn’t seem like there’s any hurry on that though.

Again thank you all. Just talking about it here is cathartic, and I am grateful for your love and kindness.

FroggyB

It’s been a while since my husband died and no one talks about him anymore, it’s as though he never existed but I still grieve for him every single day.

Edit: GOLD Thank you kind stranger.

Millsters

Going through methadone treatment while my two brothers are still using drugs. I’m clean now but it’s still a tough battle, especially because we live together.

I appreciate all the support and kind words reddit peeps. I’m in the middle of tapering down already, 30 mg left, and if anyone is facing a similar struggle just know YOU CAN DO IT! You’re the master of your own destiny.

dabberoo_2