If Donald Trump demanded trial by combat. Who would he choose as his champion?

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If history is anything to go by, he would choose WWE superstar Bobby Lashley.

SpookySandwiches

Probably that navy seal guy who was charged with war crimes.

mejok

This has already happened. At Wrestlemania 23, he chose Bobby Lashley.

MAAAgent

He’d probably ask for Rocky, not Stallone, but has to settle for Steven Segal.

anoxiousweed

Probably himself…explanation unneccessary.

DefiantCondor

What music video you watched AFTER liking a song for a while ruined the song for you?

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Ed Sheeran’s Shape of You.

“The club isn’t the best place to find a lover so the bar is where I go”

***shows him and her at a boxing studio***

Anson-Hii

Lips of an angel. Ugh I hate watching him sing it’s like he’s fighting off turning into a statue

Lrad5007

She will be loved sounds like a great love song until you watch the video and realize its about Adam Levine fucking his GFs mom

wobblymcgobbly

Can I answer the opposite? Back when *Sexy and I Know It* came out, I heard it first and thought it was so stupid and pompous.

Then I saw the video and it clicked that these guys are just goofballs.

tomgabriele

Radioactive was a such a weird music video, I was hoping for some mad Max post apoc shit…I got a puppet fighting ring.

lilappleblossom

What is the most useless invention you have seen?

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You often see this advertisement about the wrist band that gives you electric shocks as a punishment if you try to break a bad habit, like smoking. This is called aversion therapy. Well, this electric shock wrist band has no magical sensors to detect when you are doing what you want to stop and you have to push a button to give you the electric shock.
If you would just use rubber band around your wrist and let it slap on your wrist as a punishment, you would basically get the same result for a fraction of the price of the electric shock band.

TheBassMeister

So in my Giant store, they have a robot that randomly turns on and rolls around the store looking for messes, and when it finds one it just stands there, and does nothing. Just standing there waiting for someone to clean up the mess

TheAdoptedOne_

Saw Bluetooth dice on kickstarter a few days ago..

Lobster_porn

The toilet sloping 13 degrees downwards, making it painful to sit on for more than a few minutes.

SilverCipher752

Last year for Christmas my insane aunt gave me a breakfast sandwich maker. I sold it before I used it, but the instructions made it look like you had to cook everything first, and then you insert the food in some slots and it will stack them up to make a sandwich. Stupidest thing I’ve ever seen

Basicgorl420

Because of an epidemic Earth is going back into the Middle Ages. Only 1% of the population is still alive, and there’s no electricity. What skills or items do you have to help you survive the longest?

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I think I am with the 99%.

dirty_boy69

I can make soap, cheese, and beer and if only 1% are alive I can safely steal my neighbours illegal still to make various alcohols.

differentiatedpans

Not my web development skills, that’s for sure

SexyCrimes

Finally, all those years of Boy Scouts is about to pay off.

Ua_Tsaug

Well, I have a bow and I know how to make another one. Bowyers always had jobs in the Middle Ages

gunslingerAmante

What’s a fact you know, that would make other people say ” why the f*** do you know that”?

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You need a longer rope to hang children compared to an adult, so that once the rope snaps taut, there’s enough force to break their necks, otherwise they will survive the drop and suffocate.

I know this because of Assassin’s Creed II and the execution scene in the prologue/tutorial.

RogueVector

Cyanide smells like bitter almonds but not everyone has the gene that allows them to detect it

Shas_Erra

Not me, but one of my students, had a massive nosebleed, and as I was sitting next to him making sure he was okay, he said, “It helps if you put an ice pack on the back of your neck.”

“How do you know that?” I asked.

“Well, I saw them do it to a giraffe once at the zoo. You know, nose bleeds are actually pretty dangerous for giraffes. But they put an ice pack on the back of their neck and it stops it right up.”

Sammy51415

Bears intentionally eat stuff that makes them constipated during their hibernation, so they don’t shit themselves while they sleep. It is called a fecal plug, and when they wake up, they just dump it all out near where they slept. So if you see a mountain of shit in the forest, you should probably skedaddle.

babitsbihaly

One moth species has 4
‘Penises’

Mr_Erkki

People who learned English as a second language, what’s the craziest thing someone has said to you assuming you didn’t understand them?

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we were in some international math competition. me and my friend overheard someone said “cmon man we can’t lose to those chinese dogs” (we’re singaporeans btw)

then we looked at each other and clicked, and started barking at each other. lmao the look on their faces

bitchwithpotions7

Grew up bilingual as an American-born citizen with a very foreign name. When I was 13, we had a house fire and ended up moving to a new school district rather suddenly. My mom took me to enroll in my new middle school. After a brief conversation with my mom, the secretary turned to me and asked, in the slowest, most condescending voice ever, “how goood is yooour English?” I answered back using her same tone and speed, “prrretty goood.”

She missed the joke and marked me down for the English as a Second Language program. I was pulled from my regular English class multiple times throughout the first semester so that I could attend this program. It took a lot of convincing before they finally realized their mistake and let me remain in my regular class.

Edit- Thank you for my first silver, kind stranger!

TangerineIsland

It’s not quite what you’re asking for, but here it is anyway. My first language is English, my second language is Japanese, and I live in Japan.
Anyway, this happened almost 2 years ago. I’m at the airport with my husband to pick my parents up. They flew in from America for the birth of their first grandchild. I was heavily pregnant (had my baby the next morning). I’m also very clearly not Japanese. So we’re walking down a hall towards some elevators and a group of young Japanese guys walk past us in the opposite direction, and I overhear one of them say, “wow she’s really fat” and his friend replied, “she’s pregnant you idiot” and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. I mean, they were both right. That Japanese McDonald’s is legit.

Purple_whales

I’m bilingual and English is not my native language as well, but a friend of mine (who is half Greek, half Filipino) went through something you could be describing. She culturally leans more towards her Filipino counterpart but has very European features. When she went to the Philippines on vacation, this group of grown men was drinking on the streets and saw her.

Basically, they were actively discussing kidnapping her and holding her for ransom in Tagalog (because she was a white foreigner) right in front of her face. She didn’t respond or try to cut back at them (I mean, I sure as hell wouldn’t if I were her) and just remained close to the people she was with during the trip.

pierrotu

visited India with my GF. both whites but i know hindi language (worked in india for 3 years). visiting historic places and temples. some bhakts in the temple started talking about raping my GF while making me watch it and then later burning our bodies to hide the crime. one of them even bragged how they can avoid punishment because his uncle is prominent political leader and board member of temple.

throughout the exchange i kept straight face and acted like i didn’t understand anything what they were saying. made super quick exit out of there. later my GF asked me if those guys were talking anything about us. explained everything to her. she never wants to visit India ever again.

shreddedking

Whats the biggest difference between who you are and who you want to be?

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I don’t actually do anything or get anything done

robosheepz

I want to be less angry and instead, be more patient and positive. I often get mad over things I know don’t really matter and its exhausting for me and those close to me

pinkytoe205

Who I want to be is a braver, more resilient version of who I am.

cheesecakeandchill

Money

_Renardeau

I would accually like myself. My self-esteem would be alot better.

Katjaaa_

What’s the dumbest thing you’ve upvoted today to get coins?

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Wait, you guys are getting coins?

SlackedHuman

I am baffled by the obsession of many with getting gold, silver or upvotes. What’s the draw? And what’s the point of paying for a premium account or coin?

SailorTodd

What coins?

BRAINGLOVE

Is this a “What do you think of the new like button sound” type thing you’re doing?

SuperdudeFourFiveSix

Is this a scam to get upvotes, or am i missing out on something here?

berSmart

If actors “covered” roles in movies like musicians cover songs, which actor’s performance of which character would you want to see?

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I’d want to see every Schwarzenegger and Stallone movie swapped with each other just for the hell of it.

Bigmodirty

Willem dafoe as the joker

thisyourspecialBUSH

Patrick Stewart as Regina George.

GreenOnionCrusader

I saw somebody suggest that Michael Sheen and David Tennant could just as easily have been cast as their opposite roles in Good Omens. I’d pay dearly to see that.

hippolyte_pixii

Michael Cera as Gandalf

Imagine an awkward teenage Gandalf.

nothing_in_my_mind

You get 24 hours to prepare, and you get paid $10,000 to stay in your room for an entire week with no internet/data connection/television. Can’t leave. Do you do it? And if so, what do you do in the meantime?

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Serious question: Would there be anyone that considers this more than a mild challenge? One week is nothing.

mlhradio

God I could finally sleep. 2 days of non stop sleep and the rest just playing offline games, reading books, and microwave meals. Heaven!

just-want-cuddles

Stock up with books. Do some crafts, journaling, colouring books. One week does not sound that bad. The hardest will be isolation and not being able to talk to my family.

Koollove7

Easy, I’ll load up with offline games and I’m good to go. A ton of books will help as well

mjmunda

An entire week with no internet? And I get paid for it? Where do I sign up? I’ve easily got a weeks worth of books to read all ready to go right now.

nomad_1970