LPT: If your work is becoming mundane or you get the feeling you’re on autopilot, try pretending you’re training a new hire in your head.

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keepthetips

LPT: pretend you’re looking for a new job, and accept a better one than you have.

WeddingLion

Fuck that new hire. They’re not going to outshine me! Better give them bad advice so they fall on their face.

l2np

“And here is where we hide and cry after lunch. It’s best to keep your pants on or at least close by”

Kundicka

If your work is mundane and boring figure out how to fuck off at work as much as possible.

ned_krelly

LPT: When writing reports, essays or any other important documents, reread it the next day with fresh eyes. Don’t just save it and think that it’s good to go, even if you’ve proofread it. Trust me, it’s got errors.

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keepthetips

Wait, you finish reports more than ten minutes before they’re due?

crueller

I don’t even look at my screen when I type shit. I just randomly press keys for half an hour. Fuck errors.

total_revoice

I always read it back to myself out loud. A lot of my writing sounds fine in my head when I reread it, but it sounds awkward af out loud.

randomly_gay

I was writing, re-reading, re-writing, and proofreading my doctoral thesis EVERY SINGLE DAY over the course of a few months. I finally submitted it, confident I couldn’t find anything else to change. And then for some masochistic reason, I opened the PDF file again. My eye landed right on a typo.

There’s *always* an error.

HailSaturn

LPT: if you’re a manager/supervisor of any kind, say “thank you” to your team every once in a while, even if it’s non-specific. Even the smallest amount of thanks/appreciation goes a long way to boost workplace morale

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keepthetips

Even better, actually *be* thankful for your crew and their work. You’re only as good as your team.

benadrylpill

Even just noticing. Hey, I noticed you stayed late. Hey, I noticed you got here really early! Hey, I noticed you didn’t sob under your desk at lunch. That kind of thing. Even if it’s stuff they are supposed to do. Adults are just babies. We need affirmation.

every1luvsanunderdog

I like this idea, but…

Nah – be specific. Insincerity reeks. If you’re a manager or supervisor, you should understand the mechanics of your team. Of course, show appreciation as often as possible, but don’t try to flatter your way into a good relationship with your employees.

OF COURSE, be generous with your gratitude, but if you’re talking to a specific team member and you don’t know their value, then your motives are suspect, and the entire team will begin to doubt your authority and authenticity.

MeridianHilltop

That’s if you’re a decent manager. Gratuitous thank yous every few months won’t make up for being a shit manager.

TheCrankyBear

LPT: Scam/spam callers will put you on THEIR “do not call list” if you just scream at them!!!

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keepthetips

I’ve got a great strategy for scammers. Since most, if not all of the calls come from India, all you have to do is give them a specific fake name.

For men, say your first name is Ben. When they ask for your last name, say it’s Chode. The word “bhenchod” in Hindi roughly translates to “sister f***er”. They’ll hang up on you.

For women, say your first name is Terri. When they ask for your last name, say it’s Maki Choot. The word “teri ma ki chut” in Hindi roughly translates to “your mother’s p***y”. This one would work for women or men. It’s actually hilarious to hear their reactions.

AnHeroicHippo99

I act like I’m interested than I rant about my problems.

skittles4315

I’ve been keeping them on the line pretending to be a good target and fucking with them, all the while recording the call to share with people later.

It’s always a good time when they get frustrated and yell at me saying “100 n**rs fucked your mom to make you!”

PM_ME_A_PLANE_TICKET

When I get a call and they ask for me by name, I’ll say “hold on, let me get him”. I then set my phone down until they get tired of waiting and hang up. If you want to waste my time, I’ll waste yours.

Violuthier

LPT: If your indoor cat is lost outdoors leave their litterbox outside. They can smell it up to a mile away and use that to find their way home.

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keepthetips

I have an old old cat that has always been an indoor cat. She’s super sweet but not all there. I suspect she has some sort medical malfunction of the brain (not sure what else to call it as I can’t say the R word, but you get my point) Anyway, this cat has ZERO instincts, doesn’t jump on furniture, has no desire whatsoever to go outside, doesn’t do normal “cat stuff”. She just sleeps all day, gets up to eat, the use the litterbox then back to bed. So a week or so ago, I can’t find her. Look all day and realize I didn’t see her the night previous too. I’m freaking out, bc she’s so old and confused. I figure she must have wandered outside and we live out in the country so that mixed with a cat with no instinct is a bad combo. I check the garages and all around our property in the creek beds etc.
finally I start looking In the garage again and pulled a box away from the wall and tjere she is curled up in the corner. She looks at me but doesn’t move, isn’t excited to see me just looks frightened. I start to pull her out and she fights me. Poor thing is so scared and doesn’t know where the hell she is. I have no idea why I’m telling this story but I’m just glad I found her as she has no business out in the world.

moxiebear00

LPT: Your cat’s probably not lost. They’re dicking around and will come back when they’re hungry, bored, or don’t feel like sleeping outside.

MoobyTheGoldenSock

Maybe clean the box once and a while.

two_fish

They are often hiding nearby. They are scared and most likely will be in the garage or something.

Boardallday

LPT: If a questionable experience happens at work, send yourself an email with details and witnesses. This creates a timestamped record of events that you can use to protect yourself.

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keepthetips

I was dealing with company negligence once, and their solution was send me for training.

At the end of the training I showed the instructor the years worth of correspondence I had with my boss trying to sort out the issues, after he read them he looked at me terrified and said “do not delete those emails. Those are proof that you have tried to fix these issues. If something happens they will be asked for in court”

jonnyinternet

Works on family too when they try to gaslight you

JohnWangDoe

Send the email to your personal email account from
your business account. If something were to happen, your employer could freeze your email account and not let you have access to it. You could also not be able to find those emails later even if you saved them and stored them.

ProfessorJNFrink

I read it like this, “if you experience happiness at work”.

GoneInSixtyFrames

LPT: If you don’t know where you want to go in life, pick any direction and move forward

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keepthetips

I’m gonna start sucking dick!

kb8133824

It doesn’t need to be something that costs you a lot of money to do, either.

1. Learn to draw

2. Decide to read 50 books in a year and keep track of them

3. Volunteer once a week with a local organization

4. Host a regular meetup group

5. Hike all the trails in your local area

6. Grow a windowsill herb garden

7. Sing in a choir

8. Pick a book of recipes and work your way through it

9. Run a mile every day

10. Learn to tailor your own clothes

Really, anything that requires consistent effort on your part is ideal for this method.

LowCalPal

Thank you for this.

I just turned 29 and not feeling really happy about it.. about my career, my life and my year, so this speaks to me in a perfect timing 🙂

zarrilli

>Anything that requires some effort and dedication on your part will contribute to a habit of being hardworking and dedicated

this is actually so true. and a lot of people think it has to be something major but even something minor helps this as well. Something as little as committing to making your bed in the morning, every morning, can have a huge impact over time

also what usually lights a fire under my ass is “there are consequences for everything you do, but there are also consequences for everything you don’t do”

I’m not sure exactly why that always motivates me but it just does. I guess it’s because it’s like… if I sit and do nothing, then the consequence for that is I didn’t do anything. But if I just pick any damn thing and do the damn thing, then maybe there are negative consequences to it but there will ALSO be positive consequences from it, which is at least better than just the purely negative consequences of not doing anything to begin with

forget where I heard that idea first though!

andthesoftskeleton

LPT: An easy way to remember how to use e.g. is to think of it as “example given” and then give examples.

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keepthetips

As an FYI, e.g. stands for “exempli gratia”, which means “for the sake of example.” So this LPT isn’t too far off from the original meaning. I.e. stands for “id est” literally “that is”

CraftySwinePhD

Or just egzample

hasta_la_pasta

eg = egsample

ie = in ether words

daydaywang

“eggzample” is easier for me to remember.

I0I0I0I

LPT: If you’re looking to move to a new neighbourhood, book an Airbnb for a few days to see if you like the vibe

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keepthetips

I never thought of this but when I was looking for a car I rented the ones I liked. I hate the test drive process, the sales man breathing down your neck and not being able to drive on conditions you want to drive on.

The air bnb idea is brilliant.

shaka_sulu

Ah, what it must be like to be financially comfortable!

thebatal

There’s a housing crisis in my city. If it turned out that 1 in 100 houses in every neighborhood was a bnb instead of a resident house the community would flip their shit.

buzmeister92

I rather not support airbnb

TwitchingSwordhand

LPT: If you feel that a conflict is emerging, seize any opportunity to change the form of communication (e.g. switch from e-mail to a phone call)

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keepthetips

This is how a carrier pigeon saved my marriage.

The_Head_Shrinker

There is a downside though: if you switch to phone and it blows up and turns into a he said/she said you won’t have a paper trail to prove what was *actually* said.

teakwood54

Mugger pulls knife: Give me your wallet!

Me: Can we move this to ICQ?

Mugger: oh man I use to love ICQ! Did you know it stands for I Seek You?!

Me: no way!

Mugger: Could you do AIM instead?

Me: AIM? You didn’t have friends growing up, did you?

Mugger: No…

Me: I’ll be your friend!

Mugger: okay! Let’s go mug that guy over there!

Me: Okay!

Butwinsky

Great post! I believe that your #3 is particularly important as the modality is often the source of the conflict. I once used the word “complicated” to describe something discussed in a meeting. The word “complicated” upset one of my coworkers. Once we talked I understood why it did.

My mentor had a rule: If more than 3 emails have been exchanged (Me to you, you reply to me, I reply to you…) then my last reply will ask for a good time for us to meet in person or talk on the phone.

goodgodzilla