God this post hit me hard. When I was a teenager, my dad had cancer. I would avoid going to meet him, I believe now was a coping mechanism. I’d just go play video games to not have to think about it. I did go when told to, but if asked, I’d decline.
One day I was told to visit him at the Marie curie and I notice a drastic change, which was shocking and even then I didn’t fully comprehend he was about to die.
After awhile I stepped out of his room and one of the nurses came up to me and knew who I was. I only learnt after he died, that after previous visit my dad was telling them all who I was and how proud he was of me.
I don’t think there is anything particularly special about me or anything to be greatly proud of, but damn I cry every time I think about it.
I think where I’m going with this, is visit your loved ones. Nothing is more important.
Very true. Even when it isn’t apparent. My grandad 86 y.o signed himself out of the hospital earlier in the week and people who had seen him said he just looked very tired but otherwise okay. He went upstairs and soon later they found him dead; about 5 hours ago now.
I can come at this from 2 different POVs.
1. My Grandmother. A great relationship. Unfortunately I left the country around 9 years before she passed and unfortunately I never heard about her decline until after the fact from my family. It was not malicious but a deep bummer. Family want to protect.
2. My father who abandoned the family in my late teens because my sister got a virus that left her severely mentally handicapped and he “couldn’t deal with it” so the other choice was a girl half his age. When it didn’t work out the last message my mother got was “when you read this I will be dead”. Went to the funeral just to support the family but filled with rage.
Just try to be there for those who deserve it. If you miss something you can feel bad but it doesn’t mean you are a terrible human. Life does have an end so just enjoy it, learn from it, share it and hope that if you have shared it enough you will at least have one person there when it’s all over who truely cares.
They *might* decline quickly. It’s not always the case.
I wish i would have visited a loved one of mine but i didnt for personal reasons. It happens slowly and at the same time quickly