Al Qaeda mocks terror rival ISIS by leaking ‘blooper’ reel

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Wtf even is our world anymore

dontwantaplace

Okay, this is officially the most “Onion-y” title I’ve ever heard.

croatoan182

Behind the obvious humor element here there is, I feat, a very serious issue.

Just when we think that some group is extremely radical and the epitome of evil, along comes someone even MORE radical and MORE evil.

We thought Al Qaeda was the worst of the lot because of 9/11, then along comes ISIS which beheads people, burns them alive, machine guns or bombs hundreds of people attending a concert or enjoying an evening dancing in a club, and generally making even Al Qaeda seem less horrible. So naturally Al Qaeda has to criticize people who are even loonier than they are. Who knows which group will next turn up that is even worse that ISIS?

amerkanische_Frosch

This is like a Family Guy skit

BBlack1618

Let them fight

TylerDurden2022

Judge Rules Voting Machines ‘Unsecure, Unreliable and Grossly Outdated’ But State Can Use Them Anyway

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>the court isn’t convinced of “the State’s capacity to manage a transition.”

So the justification for letting this happen was that the state is too incompetent to follow the court’s orders, so they’ll just let them break the law instead.

HardlySerious

… because there isnt enough time to test and implement a new system prior to the election.

Mmaibl1

<joke> Democracy </joke>

LeviathanGank

How much time do they need? Reports of these machines’ security problems surfaced in 2004. Diebold’s own memos say they knew there were problems back in 1999. What’s been done about it since then? Diebold settled out of court for $2.6 million. They allegedly applied a security patch to machines in 2 Georgia counties (election officials didn’t even know about the patch until after the 2004 election, and it didn’t fix what it claimed to fix). Keep in mind that these machines were in 33 states until 2009. Diebold removed their name from the machines and spun off the election division into a company called Premier Election Systems in 2006, which was sold to a competitor called ES&S. In 2010, ES&S sold PES to Dominion Voting systems. These machines are still in 22 states today.

igetasticker

The greatest country in the world, using the shittiest technology during the most important decision making. I love how once touchscreen became a thing fuckers just took our tax money and made everything with that shitty technology as fast as they could.

CoBudemeRobit

Geeky license plate earns hacker $12,000 in parking tickets

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can I order myself a “DROP TABLE TICKETS” plate?

gourrranga

Sounds like the result of poor programming.

Static147

Sounds like the DMV wasn’t using strong typing. I shouldn’t be surprised but I still am.

Turious

At least he is kinda invisible now, just with unnecessary hassle and extra steps.

If he gets a real ticket again, how can the system ever prove that it’s actually him and not just some random plateless ticket that was accidentally assigned to him?

Fistocracy

Amazon says its facial recognition can now identify fear

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Oh good…

I, for one, welcome our new overlords.

emmasdad01

“Soon, we hope to be able to teach it to love seeing that fear.”

HardlySerious

Their facial recognition AI is probably informed by the expressions of their own warehouse employees.

rolmega

Excellent. The Despair and Hopelessness programs in their Robot Torture division are also making strides.

StanUlam

Time to practice my poker face..

^(Seriously though, I can’t imagine their algorithm would be very accurate at all)

BobbyThrowaway6969

Ohio State Has Filed A Trademark Application For The Word “The”

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At this rate the onion is gonna file for bankruptcy.

thetalkingbrony

Am now calling them An Ohio State University

jackluke

I’ve worked with people who insist on calling it THE Ohio State (some jokingly, some seriously) but I had no idea it was actually this big of a deal. Yeesh.

lyssian

The ™ Ohio ® State ©

satonabug

To bad they cant trademark a good defense.

oppie727

Kashmir: Taliban Urges India, Pakistan to Refrain From Violence, Use ‘Rational Pathways’

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Taliban children’s hospital when

Mexican5020

Are they threatening to sue for copyright infringement if they do?

ThreeXOne-One

They are afraid if Pakistan goes to war with India they would lose their gravy train, resources currently going to them would be diverted to Kashmir.

Drill1

Direct quote:

> “Having gained bitter experiences from war and conflict, we urge peace and use of rational pathways to solve regional issues,” said Mujahid.

So does this mean Taliban isn’t doing “war and conflict” anymore? No more terrorism from their end?

tendstofortytwo

Disney executives apparently worried Jojo Rabbit’s anti-Nazi message is too edgy for Disney fans

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It’s not like the Nazis were horrible people or anything.

TheRealClose

> yeah, it’s not exactly a movie you take your eight-year-old Cars stan to see on a Saturday morning, unless you’re really trying to course-correct their interests (**and maybe you should**). Things take a hilariously disturbing turn in the last paragraph of Variety’s feature, which describes a Disney exec’s reaction following a recent internal screening of Jojo Rabbit: “Halfway through one recent viewing one executive grew audibly uncomfortable, worrying aloud that the material would alienate Disney fans.”

Remember when Disney used to make anit-nazi cartoons?

MortWellian

All anti-nazi messages are good messages Disney. Or are you planning on having Mickey start goose stepping.

Decimit_

On brand for Disney.

WolfsLairAbyss

“Why am I being persecuted for condoning horrible atrocities based on sweeping blanket beliefs. **I’M THE REAL VICTIM HERE**.”

God bless America.

potatoponytail

Kentucky man arrested outside Pentagon with shotgun, said he had “liberty business”

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You know in a movie when they finally gratuitiously say the title of the movie in a cool cheesy quote? I feel like this could be the climax of a movie called “Liberty Business”.

_Iro_

It was funny until this.

> Lawson was hospitalized, and a doctor told police that Lawson mentioned he was previously diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Now I feel bad for laughing.

descendingangel87

I’m in the business of liberty, let’s take it from the top

I’ve got a shotgun and some armament, all I’m missing is a Glock

Monster-Zero

“Hello sir, are you here for business or pleasure?”

“Business.”

“What kind of business?”

“Liberty business.”

N8theGr8

Probably still my favorite Paramore song.

Tis_A_Fine_Barn

CNN’s Chris Cuomo angrily clashes with man who called him ‘Fredo,’ says it’s ‘like the N-word’

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If you’re trying to compare words and you can’t say one of the words you’re trying to make the comparison with, that one is worse than the other.

dr_kingschultz

When ever topics come about the N word. The N word will always win by the fact we call it the N word and not say the actual word, nibblits.

Non-SequitorSquid

Flying into a profanity laden rage cause someone calls you Fredo is succhhh a Fredo move.

MuadD1b

What does “Fredo” even mean?

SpaceRocker1994

I think its more like calling someone an uncle tom. You are naming them after someone from a fictional work with an undesirable characteristic along with their ethnicity. N-word is a completely different thing.

w8cycle